In an enchanted world, far from Earth, a handsome prince by the name of Darkemony Fairdether lived. There in Kaszrim, his homeland, he traveled about, on a lavish white horse, flaunting his vanity, which at times provoked quarrels amongst competing female suitors. Darkemony enjoyed all the attention he was given as it made him overly confident.
His desire for notoriety inspired him to hold public competitions. They were distasteful, but those adventurous enough to compete were awarded with much more than an honorable mention. Darkemony, on many occasions, ruled that all who competed were winners. With so much beauty before him, he simply could not decide. He and his beauties would then vanish off to some secret place for long hours. When they returned, all had naughty smiles on their faces. Darkemony’s behavior continued like this for quite some time.
One day, his life changed forever and his days of vanity came to an end. It was an overcast day; Darkemony felt depressed. As dusk settled, to cheer himself up, he held the largest of all the events ever. At the end, he left with a parade of female suitors.
The prince’s rite of passage always began with drinking, dancing and ended with procreation. Once he had his fill, he proclaimed a sonnet to his companions.
Debauchery is my middle name.
And love—why that is my true game.
Isn’t that why you all came?
For treachery is fun and corruption is second to none.
If life is for the living, then I am insane with it.
So how can I be to blame?
By all means, my dears, please share in my shame…
While he pompously minced about reciting those words, he stepped into a mound of meadow muffin. He bellowed out just how appalling it felt on his feet and ankles, then slipped and fell into a Fermit hole (a Kaszrim rabbit’s home). When he crawled out, his companions gave him a royal laugh, assuming it was all part of the act. It was not. A swarm of mysterious bugs surged out after him and they figured something terribly went wrong.
Nobody escaped without being stung. Darkemony got the worst of it; so bad in fact, that his head swelled up like a balloon and popped. The insects then mysteriously vanished leaving everyone feeling surprisingly carnal.
For hours they were all in a dream controlled by a dark and dirty teacher of the arts. The next morning, everyone woke up beside one another, with not a piece of clothing on to their body. While a few looked expressionless, most woke with a smile; that was until they discovered Darkemony’s motionless body.
Word spread of the debacle and soon, they were all apprehended by Darkemony’s overzealous mother and sentenced to death for his murder. Nobody believed their account of what had happened that night; it was simply too farfetched.
One of them did live to tell this tale. Enamored by what she witnessed that dreadful night, she devoted her time to harnessing the concoction of Fermit hair and dried meadow muffin and eventually produced an elixir with aphrodisiac properties she called: Darkies Surprise. There on the bottle, the warning label read: “Made from a fool’s false charm, so sprinkle just a bit, unless you want to end up like the founder: a crispy dead twit.”
MORAL: The result of revenge can come in many different forms. His Karma came in a bottle.